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Funny Quotes

"I don't need to be wanted, I want to be needed!"


Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye


The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously


Humans are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education


"I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that haven't worked"


"Just because you are smart doesn't mean you can't act stupid."


When your right no one remembers, when your wrong no one forgets!!!!!!!


If all the men were across the sea, a DARN good swimmer I would be!"


"look at me and look at you. If i were you i'd hate me too!"


"We are not BLONDES, we are WHEATS!"


"I just don't know what to do, Heaven won't have me and Hells afraid I will take over!!"


"The more boyfriends I have, the more I like dogs"

"You say it's PMS but really I just don't like you" 

"Guys are just like roses, you have to watch out for the pricks"


"I could tell him to go to hell, but then I remembered all dogs go to heaven!"

"No matter how big and soft your bed is you still have to get out of it in the morning!"


Sorry to hurt your feelings, but you have the common sense of a turnip. Now, don't get me wrong, man-- it's a perfectly respectable turnip, not little or moldy or anything. But still a turnip


"No one dies a virgin, cause life is always screwin' ya!"


When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it


"If Jackasses could fly, this place would be an airport!"


"It's not that I'm not ready to learn, it's that I don't like to be taught"


I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, You'll never find anyone like me again! I'm thinking, I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?


"Fine guys open my eyes, smart guys open my mind but only a sweet guy can open my heart"


"Do I Look like a grocery item to you, cause I sure do see you checking me out!"


"It's times like these that you have to remember, you will kiss a lot of frogs before you find your only prince!"


Popularity is like Tupperware, it's cheap and sold at parties

"I'm Loved by some, Hated by many, Envied by most, Yet wanted by plenty"

"It's not the size of the dog, It's the size of the fight in the dog!"