Sorry to hurt your feelings, but you have the common sense of a turnip. Now, don't get me wrong, man-- it's a perfectly respectable turnip, not little or moldy or anything. But still a turnip
"No one dies a virgin, cause life is always screwin' ya!"
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it
"If Jackasses could fly, this place would be an airport!"
"It's not that I'm not ready to learn, it's that I don't like to be taught"
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, You'll never find anyone like me again! I'm thinking, I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?
"Fine guys open my eyes, smart guys open my mind but only a sweet guy can open my heart"
"Do I Look like a grocery item to you, cause I sure do see you checking me out!"
"It's times like these that you have to remember, you will kiss a lot of frogs before you find your only prince!"
Popularity is like Tupperware, it's cheap and sold at parties